7/3/12

It has been forever again.

Back when my diary was written in daily, secrets & dreams were penciled in every page and shared with no one. Now, a husband, children and an AMAZING God keep and stretch every dream, fill my days and utterly exhaust me ( in a good way). So, no journal is kept, no memories recorded. Most days I'm happy to revel in the 'todayness' of exciting discoveries by the boys or conversations with Bill. Sometimes though, I think, perhaps I should write this down...
                                                                    Eathon & Fleas

On to some newsy stuff; We did chickens yesterday and will be doing more tomorrow. Everyone is at the stage of can't wait to get these DONE!. Not that we don't love our chicken, but at this point we are weary of plucking, gutting, fine picking and bagging chickens. Eathon and Cole are such a blessing, helping in numerous ways where they can. Next Wednesday is the last day ( God willing). Such a day to celebrate!

Today is the 1st Birthday of our niece, the "Miracle Girl" Ellie. Who despite her momma being told, 'there is no baby' and ' you need to move on', stuck true and leaned upon God and lo and behold on the 3rd ultra sound attempt a BABY!

Bill 'helping' Cole to trim a tree

Currently, I'm trying to work on three bedroom simultaneously. Stripping wallpaper and carpet in one, painting trim in another and the other is a store room right now. Thank goodness my husband is a patient man. My hope ( and goal) is to have less 'groovy, 70's feel' bedrooms and a more relaxed country home look. Either way, SO much fun to see the results of so many hours.

Chicken if frying, mashed potatoes are done, a salad will be prepped shortly for today's meal. Blueberries will be sorted and popped in the freezer for treats this winter. Laundry, dusting and some paperwork. A nap maybe later. Listening to the boys, 'stories beyond belief' and enjoying the breezes as they blow through the house will be the schedule for the rest of the day. We are blessed.


1/31/12

10 years ago


I am 7 1/2 month along. Tonight, I will be feeling huge and wondering how much larger could I possibly get. After packing a lunch for my sweet husband before he leaves for work, I will chatter with a brother-in-law who 'just so happens' to have a nasty cold. While piecing together a baby blanket that I'm working on there is a sudden gush of liquid which surprises me, it is warm and smells familiar. It dawns on me that my water had just broken.

The Nyquil induced fogginess of my B-I-L is totally blasted away after mentioning that;
1. My waters have broken.
2. It is a blizzard out.
3. I can't contact John.

He stumbles to the his car which doesn't start, runs ( still blizzard conditions) to his grandparents and borrows their truck only making it to the end of our driveway, with towel between my legs and winds yanking on my billowing dress we slip and slide our way to the truck. Totally youtube worthy, lemme tell you.

We inch towards Canton, nearly missing a Stop sign and driving off the road, make it to the mill and John covered in feed dust and unable to hear the phone with ear plugs in. We all make it to the Canton Hospital where they check me in and put me on a IV drip of something awful to try and stop the contractions, to no avail. There is talk of transferring to Syracuse and due to the bad weather it is decided, Watertown is the best they can do. Through all of this, in my naivete, my thought was; 'wow, this is easy!'. The contractions were easy, the hospital staff was wonderful and I can vividly remember calling my mom and telling her that this whole labor stuff seemed pretty easy, whereupon she assured me that it might get a bit harder before we were done.

Now, I watched all of my brothers come into this world. Mom had three at home, one in the hospital just to see what it was like and the last at home. Labor started slowly but quickly sped up and by the time the midwife arrived my seventeen year old self was getting scared that I would be 'catching the baby'. I remember now why the broken water smelled familiar.

We labored, for a while. Somehow my eyes latched upon Feb. 2nd as being Groundhogs day and determined I was NOT having a baby born then. The lovely lady Dr., her name escapes me, was wonderful. She came in and checked me and gave the go ahead to push, this was missed by almost everyone ( including me), except my mother. Who, after about an hour of her daughter being told to blow through the urge to push was at her wits end. The nurse again encouraged me to blow through the next contraction and my mother flipped. Not a crazy, all out flip but one of the highlights of when I look back. The ironic thing is, that once the Dr. and nurses were all on the same page, I was given the go ahead and started to push. 'Ouch. I'll just blow through, thank you very much.' Thanks be to God for a husband who had been up for many, many hours looking me in the eye and saying, "you are almost done, you can do this". We did too, Eathon came to us at a little after 10pm, almost exactly 24 hours after this whole story started. Our scientist, doctor, inventor, dreamer and serious boy was born.

For two weeks he stayed in Watertown while I cried for wanting him in my arms. His lungs were in need of just a bit more time and we were SO blessed with some wonderful nurses who cared for him. As we left the hospital I looked around, waiting for the manual they were going to give us. Or, better yet the nurse who was going to come along and help us at home. This was the first time I was scared.

It continues to happen, regularly. What do we do about this, or that? To raise a child? into a man? 'Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.'Proverbs - Chapter 22:6 What happens when I'm still in training, when we feel ill prepared to teach? Our heavenly and gracious Lord teaches us. The only thing that has happened over the last 10 years is we learn to cling closer to this truth, to Him. That in ourselves, in our naivete, life is not easy. But, with Him, all is possible.

8/4/11

Flesh and Blood

We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12)

Yesterday was an exhausting day, a day after such joy and encouragement. Unexplained problems that confuse and discourage me, until I am reminded by my husband, the shepherd that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. It makes sense, I say "Be gone, Satan" and the one on HIGH gives me strength. We are discouraged to encourage, but for a moment. Reminded of HIS sufficient grace and am again living on high, thank you Jesus!

6/29/11

Wednesday musings

It is a cool day today, not even June and we feel Fall coming. I love Fall, maybe even more than Spring. The mud can get anyone down. However Fall is colorful leaves, candles, walks uninterrupted by pesky flies and a million other delights.

Today; we have laundry, dishes, lunch to do and time to relax. Does anyone else seem to have to make it a point to do so? To make time to let go...to just sit back and enjoy. Enjoyment is all the time, clean laundry, fresh brownies from the oven, kids smiling faces over dinner - sharing a joke only we know and so much more. Lots and lots of times though it seems that I am moving while doing this - serving lunch, handing out laundry to put away instead of just sitting a bit. It almost feels guilty. Why?

Things I'm thankful for;

Cool mornings
snuggles from boys
husbands whispered affections
pumpkin pie
early birds singing

6/27/11

Hospitality

I write this because it has to go somewhere. This conviction, this pride must be purged. Being beaten over the head by a loving God, listening to others speak and share, watching it lived out in others lives - all the while stepping back and saying no. At least in my head. What hit today was what harm it is doing our own family. We are not your 'out there' kind of people. You will find us in the corners, hoping you don't see us. We wish you all the very best....as long as you stay, over there.

My home is not good enough, our yard not neat enough, my kids not polite enough. Not good, not good. I stop a second to wonder. Isn't that why I'm called precious child? Saved heir of grace? To what? Say, 'not good enough'? So is say NO to pride, lack of contentment - out you go, begone. These are the things that need purged. To say YES! Come over, share a meal, we have PLENTY and GOD blesses us with an abundance, the least we can do ( and just so happens to be something I LOVE to do) is eat and share. So watch out you Moms and Dad's I admire, the young ladies and gents that I know your face and pray for but keep you at arms length. God is at work....and I'm working on hospitality.

4/10/11

Months of stretching


Been a bit since I last posted, amazing what lives we live and how they change. Sometimes bit by bit and others by leaps that hurt and are exhilarating all at the same time. I read this book recently and it seemed to be an answer to those nagging questions rolling around in my head. What is true happiness? Am I doing all I can for God, serving Him with everything I have? Why do I feel as though life sometimes slips through my fingers with missed opportunities?

Recently joy has been my word to go to, to live life with joy. This has worked well, until I get tired, till I feel like I'm the only one with joy and everyone else is just draining me till I'm a dry hollow shell. Then, well it can get ugly. The answer is not so easy to get to...and yet SO simple. Instead of trying to be joy for my husband, for my kids ( and it is amazing how my attitude influences everyone around me) I am to live fully, serve fully in this moment for HIM. When I crack, I am forgiven, by HIM. When I think, there is no more in me, it is remembered - HE gives all, it is not within my grasp to give anything, but HE gives all. Grace, Love, Joy. And I am filled up with His love.

10/25/10

God made testosterone.

a friend ( you know who you are) saw a table full of guys and quipped, "that table is full of testosterone" and then wisely commented that was probably not edifying....but what is? Got me to thinking, there are so many put down comments when it comes to groups of ladies or gentleman, don't we want men to have testosterone? to be MEN? don't we want out ladies to get excited over newborn babies? I'm hoping for the day when a table full of testosterone is not a put down but something to be coveted, something to be held in high regard.

This was going to be FB status, until they told me it was too long....do they even realize it took be forever to put it together???