Day 2

Its winter and cold. -10 to -15F cold, not including our beloved wind (chill). How is one to include exercise into their routine I ask? Well, a few months ago we were recommended by a customer to try yoga for some back pain we both have had. Wow! Awesome results. From hands that were totally asleep in the morning and a back that literally wakes me up from aching so badly to, well, much better mornings. and days. and nights. Tara Stiles does GREAT YouTube videos, I'm cheap so this works.

My husband said he was starved yesterday. And, its my fault. I'm using MyFitnessPal to track calories and exercise. Yesterday ( I'm totally blaming chocolate levels bottoming out on my mistake) egg was added 3 times instead of one. Woops!  We didn't die. Actually, this is encouraging as what we ate yesterday was good! Never was stuffed and the feeling of hunger reappeared, yay! You appreciate food SO much more now. Which brings me to really  thank God for the food we eat, instead of rushing through the prayer. It really means more. Funny that. Taking away 'more' leads to being thankful for 'less'.

100 Pound Loser

Another weight loss book, right? Same tired dogma, eat less and exercise more.  How many times have I heard this and then tucked into a (big) bowl of chocolate ice cream sure that it must work for others, not me though. I'm tired though of feeling guilty about this body, it is a temple for something very important. 12 years ago, I prayed through tears to Jesus, please,  save me.  Recently, two very special people prayed for the scars of my heart to be healed,  to know how much God loves me. Right now, as I am.

       
Last night I read 100 Pound Loser by Jessica Heights, it is not long, or really astounding. What clicked with me is how she spoke to the very depths of my heart. 10 years ago my primary reason for losing weight was so that guys would look at me. Any guy, I wasn't super particular. My high, or rush came from their approval of my looks. This is SO hard to admit now. What burrows away at my heart now is my time here is finite and the witness that I give can be obstructed by my gluttony. Yes, awful word. Such painful imagery and yet so humbling. How can not go and share the my testimony with others? Today, we ( yes, my super husband is joining me)  have started to rein in unruly eating habits. My goal is 10 lbs a month until my body says it is fit, toned and happy. The Holy Spirit cries out within me to speak out and up.  There is a joy within me that just HAS to come out! My God is an amazing Redeemer.

12-12-12 ( OK, just had to)

I'm pretty sure I won't be seeing this number combo anytime again in my lifetime.

Orders packed, school work, lunch, little nap, more orders packed. Yup, pretty much our day.

Family Christmas party on Saturday, yay!!! Doing things a little differently, instead of buying gifts we are sharing what we appreciate, a prayer, a Bible verse or thought about our "giftee". Who would have known how excited I am over the prospect! Even more so....the kids!

We have been doing yoga stretching for the past two weeks. Can.Not.Believe the difference. We are still super tight and under toned but totally loving how quickly the two are improving.

My eyes are closing....starting to slump forward. Guess that is my clue to go to bed!

Emptiness

Only when you are emptied can you truly be filled.

I prayed a prayer Friday that went something like this,  " Burn away what binds, refine me, bring out the gold. I will praise you, no matter what."

Sunday found me in church, desperately wanting to be anywhere but there. Crying and yet as I promised in my prayer, worshipping. It found me going up for prayer and hearing words of wisdom and truth.

God is filling.

Should be baking

but I'm not. Should be working on "the renovation room".....but I'm not. Instead I'm watching my eldest son ( he is JUST 10!) taking the tractor out with a bale on it for the beef. His father yelling last second instructions and letting him take yet more steps into the realm of being a man. I'm SO proud of him. His gentle heart, yet full of mischief and fun.

                                      Eathon climbing small rock walls in early Fall

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We just celebrated Thanksgiving with a small crowd this year, but ever so thankful that we are all home and healthy! Was awesome to open our home, to have it filled with laughter and jokes, good food and family. Someone mentioned to me how we were such a tight family, always seeming to do stuff together. Well...took me a couple of weeks before I pondered what she had said and realized how thankful I am for family. Two years ago, we ended up having a total of 3 Thanksgiving feasts. One just wasn't enough, ha!

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This has been the BEST year yet of homeschooling. Finally seem to have a system everyone likes and is excelling at. Both boys are free to do more scheduling of there day which in turns builds responsibility. Reading is improving but even better is the attitude towards reading. So hard for this Momma to learn, I was the girl who would pile 30 books on the librarians desk just to see if I could. I LOVED to read, the adventure, the turmoil, the geography covered while snuggled in blankets in my bed. One day, perhaps they too will love it as much!   

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                                                Eleven years....where did they go?

It can't seriously be eleven years, right? What do you say....we have fun! Goofing off and teasing is daily, we get upset at each other and we are much better at listening and forgiving. We are so thankful for God's grace, His melding together of two people. Pretty sure its only going to get better!

Weeks, days, minutes are flying by me, much like the Canadian geese to their southern grounds. They say, "hurry, hurry now, no time to sit and enjoy the grain, no time to rest, must hurry". Me, I'm saying the opposite. Sit, relax, enjoy this time, it is fleeting.

Two weeks of vacation, took one week just to relax enough to enjoy the second. SO worth it though. We lolled, played, worked ( who really ceases to do anything productive?) and thought, a lot. Eathon is ten, Cole nine,  a mere 18 months separates them and not much else. Work, play, imagination, each unique in their ways of doing but rarely separate when doing. Our thoughts range to the future for them, what will they be doing in another ten years. Are we molding them to use their gifts God has given them? Our prayers, they are being answered. Now, soon, not perhaps the way I imagined them but they are answered. Thank you Lord. Eathon needs work like breathing air, it gives him happiness to know he is serving a purpose. His little 'bull muscles' are getting larger and while a bit shorter than me for this minute, he probably does not understand his own strength and not just physically. Cole is two parts compassion to one part frustration. Whipping between the two is giving him a measure of patience for his fellow man ( or girl, or animal, they all rate about the same to him at this moment). He can now take himself away to cool off and yet come back to play and care with the tenderness patterned on another who won my heart. I'm loving this season, looking forward to every little second of it.

Bits and Bites

                                                     This boy makes me oh so happy.


Today it is raining, SO thankful.

We have a bunch of Amish men and boys coming and going today, our silo is being taken down bit by bit. Talk about up-cycling, it will be turned into two smaller silos for them. Cole is running around offering his oh so bright red Indian umbrella to a stately older Amish gentleman who kindly accepted it. Eathon is our photographer, a mighty good one at that. Who knows, he may have a future in it!

                   

Reading through Habakkuk today for the first time...wow.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food, 
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls, 
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the Lord, 
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

¹⁹ The Sovereign Lord is my strength; 
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    he enables me to tread on the heights.