Celebrating, mourning and waiting.....

Yesterday, we celebrated our 13th anniversary of being married. Fourteen total years of learning to know this man. What it means to be known by him, and Him. Cause, all that we are is because of Him. The highs and lows, the very, very lows. Things I've learned;

• Prayer is important. Immeasurably more important than you can ever imagine. Those moments whispering ( or vehemently ) speaking with God, opening your heart and knowing He listens and is working in my life. Often, those prayers for change in my husband have revealed MY need for change/improvement/repentance. 
• Make time. After the first few months/years of marriage our interest in our spouse may wane from the 'rush' of first love. Don't let it. Yes, babies, work, meals, laundry...more laundry. Pretty sure our hubbies would all be happy to eat PB&J while the babies watch a cartoon and we can sit on their lap. Naked if need be. Time to invest in each other will be the best time spent, ever!
• Find a sister, or brother in Christ. One who will love you when you say "He is so unlovable!" and then hug you and pray with you and then send you home with the admonishment of,  "but he married you." We are mirrors of our spouses. Pointing fingers will never, ever help.
• God never stops molding us, let us both be flexible under his hands lest we break in rebellion. 

So, yesterday's celebrations included seeing my husband leave for work without my goodbye kiss. ( I was on the phone...ugghh) We did exchange 'the look'. Makes my day, every time. Then I spent the rest of the day in a borrowed vehicle ( ours broke while trying to do meat deliveries on Saturday) finishing meat deliveries, banking, picking up peaches at our local country store, heading up to pick up meat at our processor, hearing more not-so-encouraging news, back to Potsdam, finish deliveries, rush to the building auction and look over a pallet jack ( yes, totally unsure what might account for a 'good pallet jack vs. a bad one) and place an absentee bid. Finish grocery shopping, quick stop at Tractor supply for some freezer containers and then home again. My men at home eagerly offered ( such a blessing!) to help unload about a thousand pounds of meat & groceries while the local Amish man used our phone to call his sick son. Boys to bed, finish putting away the groceries, clean up the house a bit and wait for my man to arrive home. Best gift in the world, to have my man back home again each evening. We won the pallet jack, our anniversary gift!

Our Shipping Building Completed!

We have both spent this summer in two different states of thought. The first has been thankfulness of how awesome the summer has been. Rain to feed the grass, grass to grow the animals, animals that are thriving. It is our business and we have been SO blessed! On the other end, our processors have lost their USDA inspection and we have been so very unsure. This means many things for us. Without that USDA inspection it severely limits what we can sell. Pretty much whole animals under the 'custom exempt' ruling and that is about it. So, for three months we have waited, prayed, considered and waited some more. Did I mention about my problems with patience? Yeah, God is working on me.... We keep saying "I don't know" and it wasn't until recently that it dawned on me, yes, I don't know but God does!

Chickens on grass

Logging in the 'Hobbit Hole'

John was offered and accepted a position at a local feed mill, working with his three other brothers. September 4th marked ten years exactly since he left that exact same position and while I KNOW that it is a blessing to have the work, the money to pay bills and the security it brings, it is twinged with mourning. For what was, for having my man around all.the.time. Sending the boys out and having them to 'man-work'. All those little things that the division of 8-12 hours makes much harder. ( My man is truly anti-phones so no texting....at least not for now)  We HAVE seen God working immenely in our lives. Eathon has stepped up, at 11 he now shoulders many of the responsibilities that were once John's. He is being stretched, a lot. Cole is learning that talking & walking/working is necessary to being able to finish those things appointed to him. I'm learning that my attitude stunk and hearing that from others hurts. SUCH good lessons in being grateful for even the things that don't match up with your plan. This has been a season of reaching out to unexpected people with the good news of Jesus, when men weep what better time to offer the one true Healer?

Why Weepest Thou?