100 Pound Loser

Another weight loss book, right? Same tired dogma, eat less and exercise more.  How many times have I heard this and then tucked into a (big) bowl of chocolate ice cream sure that it must work for others, not me though. I'm tired though of feeling guilty about this body, it is a temple for something very important. 12 years ago, I prayed through tears to Jesus, please,  save me.  Recently, two very special people prayed for the scars of my heart to be healed,  to know how much God loves me. Right now, as I am.

       
Last night I read 100 Pound Loser by Jessica Heights, it is not long, or really astounding. What clicked with me is how she spoke to the very depths of my heart. 10 years ago my primary reason for losing weight was so that guys would look at me. Any guy, I wasn't super particular. My high, or rush came from their approval of my looks. This is SO hard to admit now. What burrows away at my heart now is my time here is finite and the witness that I give can be obstructed by my gluttony. Yes, awful word. Such painful imagery and yet so humbling. How can not go and share the my testimony with others? Today, we ( yes, my super husband is joining me)  have started to rein in unruly eating habits. My goal is 10 lbs a month until my body says it is fit, toned and happy. The Holy Spirit cries out within me to speak out and up.  There is a joy within me that just HAS to come out! My God is an amazing Redeemer.